Monday 8 April 2013

Hell is frozen.


Yes, hell has frozen over. Frozen. Fucking. Solid. 

Why? I hear you ask .....

I did the folding ... All of it ..... AND it got put away ..... 
Do I need to repeat that? 
I. Did. All. Folding. 

Even Miss G looked at me strange as I sat there with baskets and piles of clothes. To shock you more I even sorted out her daycare/around the house clothes, they are now in a shelf unit in her robe, meaning she can now pick her own clothes and dress herself. Ive also discovered that her draws are the perfect habitat for the breeding of undies, she has no less than 3 dozen pairs ........  Wtf? Meanwhile I'm lucky to have half a dozen pairs without holes or pulled elastic, and I count the number of non-granny pants on one hand. 

Yet, my awesome as fuck conquering of the folding isn't the only reason the hot pit of fire and evil is now a sparkly icey pole ....

Tomorrow, I am going out .... on. my. own. 
No kids, no pram, no ex tagging along; I can use the actual ladies room rather than the parents room that stinks of dirty nappies and always has a line up because of course a parents room only needs one fucking toilet; I can get something to eat and not have to share, or fuck me I can eat it while its still hot! I'm going to browse, pick things up, I'm going to go into stores I usually steer clear of; I'm going to get a real fucking coffee, with vanilla and I'm going to drink that bitch while its still hot enough to burn a whole in my tongue, but that's ok because I won't need to be speaking and being ignored over and over by my darling child. I'm going to take 3 times as long to run my errands, fuck, I'm going to do things that aren't even on my list ..... because I can!!!!!!!

I get to go alone because Miss G has daycare and poor Miss O has the flu and bronchitis, as does the ex. He is looking after her rather than her go out among the common folk and pick up fuck knows what other bugs are circulating. That part of it sucks, seeing your kid sick, coughing constantly, watery eyes and downright fucking miserable, that sucks huge donkey testicles ..... Sweet fuck all I can do though. 

2 comments:

  1. oooh while you're out buy yourself new underwear!! I too noticed how many undies I have that are really in need of the bin!! Might have to go on a 1 new pair of nice undies a week binge until I feel my actual age again in my underwear LMAO

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  2. I understand the Undies thing. I grabbed 2 packets of 7 undies in a big clerance bin @ big W & hoped they were my size as MstrD dragged me passed into the toy section... They arnt. 1 pack too big. The other is too small. More hand washing for me tonight lol.

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