Thursday morning ABC

This morning I would like to thank ABC 4Kids for making me appear magical in my daughters eyes. 

"Mum please I want Playschool on" 

"Ok Hun in a minute" (I'm in the middle of making breakfast and coffee, priorities kid!!!) 

*30 seconds later* ... *playschool song starts*

"YAY mum, thanks you!!!!" 

Later, I'm elbow deep in morning baby shit and Miss G asks for The Wiggles.

 (remember when mornings started at midday and you were "elbow deep" in your boyfriends morning wood? *sigh*).

"Maybe I'll put them on later" 

.... *5 mins later*

"Wooohoooo WIGGLES, you put my Wiggles on" 

Oh hells yes I took full credit!!! 

She also yelled at me for singing the Playschool songs and when I started singing "rock-a-bye your bear" she rudely informed me I am NOT a Wiggle and cannot sing the songs. Excuse me? What happened to freedom of song? Why can't I get in touch with my lame side? 

I'm now wondering why the tigers on Daniel Tigers Neighborhood are wearing no pants. Wasn't fat cat axed for that reason? 

Actually, the amount of questionable content in these kids shows is fantastic. I should probably say its alarming, a bad example for children, but fuck it, it's as entertaining as hell, and makes hours of animation and bad songs bearable. 

Remember this dude from Playschool? When I was a kid I thought he was great, my mum did too, wasn't until I got older that I realised just how fucking brilliant he was. Thank you kids show writers for thinking of us parents ..... Except those responsible for Yo-Gabba-Gabba, In The Night Garden and Teletubbies, fuck you. 

Equal Love, Equal Rights

2 days after I posted this blog, I came across a video that had been shared on facebook by a friend of mine. It highlights exactly what I was talking about. Ignorance, intolerance and hate, and the importance of equality.

I was sobbing by the end of it, I seriously cannot comprehend how people can be so fucking horrible. All the more reason why I am raising my girls the way I was raised. Acceptance, tolerance and love. 

The video speaks for itself really, watch it -> It Could Happen To You

I am so smrat

In the pharmacy the other day to pick up my scripts, get the the counter and they have 2 bottles of Dove product marked down to $1.60, bargain, I'll take it. 

Finally got a chance to use it tonight; as I'm washing myself with it, I'm enjoying the smell and reading the back of the bottle ........ And discover it is not a body WASH as I thought it to be, but rather a body LOTION .... at about that same moment I felt its "cooling sensation" in places I don't think it was designed to be felt ..... it was a sensation alright .......

Meat meat glorious meat .... And owls, but not to eat.

I'm guessing I'm not the only parent that sits on the floor of the bathroom when their kids are having a bath, and messages friends, writes blogs and does up the meal plan? 

Here I am doing all of the above while my 2 are enjoying the bubbles. I wish I was still small enough for the bath tub to feel like a swimming pool. 

As I've mentioned already, I'm planning Miss O's combined first birthday/naming day party. I've been looking into cake toppers (it's an owl theme) and bitching at the prices people are wanting ... $40 fucking dollars for a fondant owl? Seriously? And it's not even cute!!! And no, I do not want Hoot or Hootabell (even if the girls do love them).

Cue friend with the creative skills I lack .... and a stock of fondant, colouring, fancy cutter things and patience. 

3.5 odd hours later we have an owl (that perfectly matches the one I used on the invitation), a name plaque, a pretty number 1 on wire and 80 odd tiny fucking hearts I cut with the cookie cutter style thing and my thumb is still numb.

 I coloured one lot of the fondant blue .... I look like I've given a hand job to a smurf. 

Seriously though, so. fucking. awesome!!! 

Finally got to the local meatcity today too. So. Much. Meat!!!! It's insane! And the prices, fuck me why have I never been there properly before? Well that would be because its not in the most practical place for a person with no car. I'm now converted though. 

"Meat showroom" ...I recommend using the free jackets, it's freezing as shit in there, I could have cut glass with my fripples after the first 2 mins. 

$77 worth of meat .....including left overs this is 1 month worth of meals for us (presuming I used just this meat every night, but allowing for what I already have in the freezer, I won't be meat shopping for at least 6 weeks). It's all the better cuts too, I could have done it cheaper but fuck it, give me all the meat!!!!! *sniggers* 

All that meat available (.... *more sniggers* ...) and what does my kid ask for for dinner?

More meat for me!!!!!!!

Ready for some controversy?

I am straight. I am a woman in every way. I am a mother, a sister, a daughter, and technically I'm a wife. 

I am also tolerant, open minded, pro-choice, considerate and I will judge you on your actions and your mind set regardless of what you look like and I am all over equality like a rash. 

Life is life; your body your choice; my personal beliefs may be different to yours but that doesn't make either of them wrong. I believe in basic human rights and punishment if you violate them. Love is love, it is blind and it is wonderful. 

One thing that I thank my mum for is raising myself and my siblings with what I believe to be some of the best things a parent can teach their children. She raised us to accept a person as they are, to look beyond their physical appearance, race, religion, culture or gender, and to accept them for how they treat others and themselves. 

You could be a vegetarian black transgender man with a stutter who is a devout Buddhist, and as long as you are polite, tolerant of my love of meat and respect that I am not religious, we'll get along fine. To me you will be the person you are, I will call you "he" because that is who you are, I will make sure we go to dinner at places with good vegetarian options but I will order the steak, I said I love meat. 

I respect the choice to be a particular religion, to believe, live by those beliefs and values, but please don't push your beliefs at me or see me as less of a person because I don't "embrace faith". Also, don't use said faith as an excuse for murder, ignorance, mutilation or hate. Religion doesn't make you do those things, being an asshole does. 

It's really simple in my head, I struggle to understand why there are people in society that ridicule and literally abuse, (verbally, physically, emotionally), those that are different, or aren't able to be placed neatly in a box with a clearly defined label. 

Yes I support gay marriage. I support transgender. I understand the choice to abort, adopt and foster. If a criminal is sentenced to life in prison for their actions then they are in prison until the end of their life, no parole, no early release for good behaviour. I also believe in fairer and consistent punishment for crimes; better community, social and government support for youth (particularly those in lower socio-economic areas), low income bracket, those with a disability, homeless, recovering addicts and the mentally disabled. Equality in the workplace, and across industries. I question politicians getting 6+ figure pays, yet those that prepare the next generation of our country, teachers, doctors, nurses, child care workers, etc, are, in comparison, paid in peanuts. 

Some might say I'm opinionated, which to a point is true, but lets be blunt here, if more people thought this same way, the world would be a nicer place. 

By the way ... This is my 50th post :D 

Multiple choice ....

So, you've been feeling a bit off in the guts since the night before, (the giant nutella mug cake probably didn't help matters), it's 11pm and you're finishing up your nightly pre-bed routine when you suddenly have the overwhelming, urgent need to GO, you know what I mean.

You start the asscheek clenched waddle to the bathroom, cue ear piercing, blood curdling screaming-to-the-point-of-vomiting from the teething baby. 

You have the choice to - 

A. Leave the screaming baby to it and continue to the toilet, with the potential of vomit mess and waking the other kid, 

B. Detour to the baby's room, calm her down if possible while taking the risk that you won't shit your pants on the carpet, 

C. Detour to baby's room, grab baby, and take her to the toilet with you (unhygienic multitasking?)

Thankfully I had option D, which was baby stopped once dummy was back in her mouth and I made it to the throne, alone, with no trail left behind me. 

I would like to thank the strength of my anal sphincter for this near miss. 

I'm asking a favour

So, what good is a blog if you don't use it for shameless plugs for people you care about, and compelling your readers to do their bit?

There is a woman who to me, is amazing. Actually there are a good few that fit this bill, but I'm going to talk about just one this time.

She has 4 gorgeous boys, 3 of which have special needs. One has severe autism, possibly the worst case I have heard of. He requires care beyond anything I could imagine. This is directly from her page - 

Yet Tracey, with her hubby by her side, still manages to run a successful online business with everything she sells being handmade by her; runs a household and all that requires; is involved in her kids soccer; and is on a path towards a healthier lifestyle fitting in gym and training; not to mention all the care for her boys, herself, and any other activities my stalking hasn't come across. Oh and I can't forget her awesome random acts of kindness she throws in for good measure. A few years back now, we needed to go to a wedding, I desperately wanted to get a Sugar an Spice dress made, but money just didn't allow. Even so, that cheeky woman sent me a dress for Miss G out of the goodness of her heart! We barely knew each other at that stage, I was just another customer. I still have that dress, and the others I've purchased, they are being handed down from Miss G to Miss O and still look as good as they did the day they were made. She always has a positive thing to say, I know she reads my facebook rambles of shit, not always commenting, but when she does it makes me smile because someone that I know to be nonstop, took a minute of their time for me. 

Yup I stalk this woman, she doesn't know it though (until now that is). When I'm feeling like total shit and I'm cursing the universe with every fuck word, and variant of, that I can think of, I take a deep breath, centre myself and I think of people like Tracey. It's a pretty fucking quick wake up call. Not just a reminder that others have it harder, but that even the most difficult, unfair and shithouse situations can be over come with persistence, will and sheer determination. 

There are people everywhere, families, like Tracy's that endure everything that life throws at them, time and time over, with little or no complaint and rarely asks for help. So, when help is asked for, it is honestly staggering the number of people that put up their hands. So many donations, so much love. 

I now ask, nay I demand, you get your ass over to Sugar an Spice on facebook and take part in the auction to raise funds for Stem Cell treatment for Christian. It is only available in China and there is no cover through any insurance, health cover, or government funding, meaning the whole cost, tens of thousands, is needed. 

If there is any little man that deserves a chance at a better life and to be all they are, and any family that deserves the chance to learn more of who that amazing boy is, it is Christian and his family. 

Stem Cell Therapy for Christian

Coffee snob

Friends that have dogs and go camping where they can't take said dog and need someone to dog sit, and they have Internet = wooohooooo!!!!! 

I bring my own coffee because I'm a coffee snob. If I have no option I'll take any coffee, but after years of trying different types, Robert Timms is by far my favourite, best tasting man I've ever swallowed .....

There's also grog in the fridge and I found Discovery Channel docos on their media drive .... All that's missing is Ben & Jerry's and a masseuse ..... Being kid free would be the icing on the cake, but apparently you can't have it all. 

Instagram yeah!

I've joined Instagram for this blog .... There'll be shit posted there that isn't put here, and stuff here that isn't put there. So basically, you need to follow both, or miss out like a loser. Your choice. 

Btw I do actually have chocolate cake, tastes like brown gooey awesomeness and I'm going to avoid my scales for like a week. 

I'm also thinking of making a facebook page and twitter account, you know, so I can take over all the social media? But then I think of all the time it will take to maintain and I think well fuck, that's a lot of coffee drinking, cake eating and general domestic bitch time I'd be using ....... Eh, I'll sleep on it. 

Fucking games!!!

I've been having pain In my left wrist, aching sharpe pain, throbs a bit, some pins and needles off and on in my fingers. 

Why? 

Fucking Candy Crush, Jewel Mania, Bubble Which Saga and Fruit Mania ....... Yes, I have RSI from stupid fucking addictive games. 

The left arm of my lounge is the best (if you van call it that) place at the end of the house for reception. So that's where I sit the iPad, and means that I'm constantly using my left hand, usually on an idiot angle. I bitch about the impossible frustrating levels, the pain in my wrist, running out of lives and yet I continue to play, every given chance ....... 

Addictive personality much?

And I KNOW I'm not the only one!!!!

Pretties

I am loving having my own space, a place to make into a home with things I like, make me smile. Things my girls like, have their space and have a routine for them to prosper. Love love. I still hate cleaning and folding but who the fuck actually enjoys that? Not me that's for sure, but I do it, otherwise I'm spending all my time removing small bits of random things from Miss O's mouth, and the constant battle with fucking ants, little black swarms of evil. 

The best part of being able to have the compete say on the decor of this pace, is that I'm discovering (rediscovering?) my taste and style. If my style has a name, I don't know it. Money doesn't allow me to get all I want, I would love to replace my lounge, tv unit, dining table .... Actually just all of the lounge and dining rooms. Alas I make the best of what I have, which means it's mixed, mismatched, not entirely reflective of me, but it has followed me through the years, and each piece has a story, most boring though. 

Is there a point to this blog? Not really .... But I do have photos ....

Collection of pretties 

Loungroom area 

Wall decals in lounge, Miss O's room and Miss G's room

My fly friend

So the fly, he disappeared for 2 days. When he returned he was different. More skittish, less approachable, and now sits on the window while I shower rather than the basin. 

It got me wondering, what if it has been different flies all this time? What if these flies are from a line of chosen flies, their soul purpose in their short lives is to watch over me? The tradition passed from father to son. A limited life span means that to me it may have only been 3 weeks, but to this honoured fly family it could be decades of birth right tradition.

I could be their God .....

Thanks for the reminder

Yes, thank you children's learning app for making me feel as stupid as fuck!!

I got Miss G a new game for the iPad, to learn her letters and numbers. I went in the parental settings and I get this .....

Wtf? Yes, I needed a calculator ...... 

Thoughts of a local bogan 1

You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to match these purple velvet leggings with a purple tight knit turtle neck. I'm going to wear white socks with bears on them, and gladiator sandals. I'm going to dress my 2 young kids in shorts and a singlet with no shoes. I also haven't brushed my daughters hair in a week and I'm not about to do it just because we're going out in public. Whatever that orange coloured chunk is in her fringe looks edible, means I don't need to feed her dinner and I have more time to drink the cask of red wine and the pack of red cruisers I have in my trolley. 

I pick red because I'm classy. 

Oh shit, need to butt out my fag on this no smoking sign and steal this taxi that just pulled up. I don't care that it probably belongs to one of the other dozen people waiting here for an hour, if I don't get home soon I'll piss my pants, fucking baby is sitting on my bladder again. 

(Author note -

This may become a thing, I see so so much of this in my travels

~ Bree)

Star Trek!!!

Went out today, kid free (that's exciting enough as it is) to gold class (wooot!) to see Star Trek: Into Darkness. Now, I'm a bit of a fan ..... Ok I'm a bit of a big fan. I have grown up on Star Trek, when my peers were watching Dawson's Creek and Buffy, I was watching Star Trek. No I don't dress up, or go all Trekkie about it ..... But I do have a Vulcan script tattoo, collectors edition box sets, have seen all episodes, series and movies, and my daughter was given a name after my favourite character, but I'm not about to Vulcan salute a stranger and yell "live long and prosper".

Anyway, it was good!!!!! I did go all geek girl in some parts, shaking my head and "tut-tut"ing, but I also know it has been revamped for a new audience, who aren't so easy to please as the original, and expect great visual wonder and action in line with today's technological advances. That aside I really enjoyed it. I jumped, gasped, laughed, cried, was shocked, cried a bit more, cheered and giggled like a stoned school girl ....... 

I could go into more detail but I don't want to spoil it for those that haven't seen it (never say I'm inconsiderate!) .....

My epic awesome Spock earrings joined me today too, love them. I keep meaning to go back to get more, maybe some Dr Who, hmmm .... Jessica's Jewels on facebook

A little update

I have discovered that at night time, and sitting in my bedroom, I have enough 3G reception to actually get things to load. I feel like I've gone from the complete wilderness, to the outskirts of civilisation and I'm peering through a crack in the walls at life ....... 

Yeah no real Internet is sending me bat shit fucking crazy, words like "leakage", "moist", "titillate" and "wiener" no longer make me chuckle, instead I outright laugh complete with snort and childish *wink wink*'s ..... I'm reverting to my adolescent self, I have limited contact with people, adults, new material, world events and gossip. I've been baking, cleaning daily,going outside into the sunlight, and fuck me dead I've been folding! 

Ok ok ok I'm being melodramatic ........ In truth I'm just a pathetic lonely mum and house bitch that misses escape into the interwebs. Obviously I've hit a hurdle with arranging connection, main one being money but they also can't seem to find my address, yes it's a new estate but I assure you, I know my address, idiot. 

Though I do feel somewhat disconnected, out of the loop. I'm not surprised at the very little SMS contact from people, whether in reply to me or of their own accord. I don't like it, and I would have liked to be proven wrong in my expectations, alas, t'was not to be. I know I can suck badly as a friend at times, usually when there's shit going on in my unstable head, or in my life blah blah, but it's then that I retreat, so as to not be a burden. Yet I try the best I can in whatever circumstance I'm in, it really is a shame that some people just don't do the same. Actually scrap that, it's not a shame, I'm being far too nice there, it's fucking rude, because those same damn people are the ones that will bitch and whinge and sling shit as soon as the roles are reversed, but all you're doing is to them is what they did, or didn't do, to you. 

Fucking people, they shit me ..... I literally know a fly that is more loyalty ......... 

Oh but all is well, pretty much settled in, kids love it, I love it. I'll love it more when I get a car so I'm not stuck out here and can do stuff. I'm really looking forward to that, be a whole new way of living for the girls and I, woooooot!

^^ just to prove I have been baking. 

Well that's different

From the day I moved in, I seem to have acquired a friend, of sorts. Stalker? Reincarnated loved one? Guardian angel? Not exactly the type I'd imagine though.

A fly ..... Yeah a buzzing, hundreds of eyes, winged, maggot producing fly.

He (could be a she, I'm not up on insect sexing techniques but if I'm going to have someone/something watch me shit, shower, shave and sleep, it may as well be male, I need the company), anyway, he was in my room the day I moved in. That night I had a shower, and he sat on the basin. He stayed there and I dried, dressed, moisturised. I walked over to the bed and he met me there, sitting on my lamp. Right now as I type this on my phone, he is sitting on the bed head.

I have seen other flies in here at times, usually one fly (I presume my mate) is chasing the other.

Some nights when I lay in bed playing stupid addictive games on my iPad (fucking candy crush), he lands on the iPad, just below the front camera. He doesn't fly away when I need to touch the screen below him.

Now I realise it's a fly, and I'm presuming the same fly, hell do flies even live weeks? I don't think every fly would be so daring, not to mention habitual. Every night he sits either on the basin or on the floor while I shower, and every night he is close when I'm in bed.

The creepy part? The only times he has ever flown close to my face/ears (something most flies do often) is seconds before one of the girls stirs/cries/wakes. I'm not shitting you. When Miss O was sick and sleeping with/on me in my bed, that damn fly would wake me right before she'd start stirring, which was usually when her temperature had spiked again or she was due more medication.

A fly? Seriously universe? You send me a fucking fly? I've even started talking to it, and actually yelled "no no, don't squish him" when Miss G spotted him sitting on the window and declared "I must kill that fly" (that's creepy in itself). I suppose I should be glad I have company? Lol

Stay tuned for the next instalment of this saga!