What Christmas means for me.

I love the family time;
I love giving gifts and seeing the look on their face when I've nailed it;
I love the surprise of said gifts;
I love using it as a chance to spoil my mum;
It's a chance to say thank you to all the people that have helped you in the year;
Being an annual event, I love looking back on the photos and hand made craft from the Christmas before, and all the memories that come with it;
I love the food, come on let's face it, Christmas food is the fucking bomb! Triffle, roasts, Christmas pudding, home made custard, potato salad. My mum makes it all, and I looooove when we all get in the kitchen, bitch about being under each others feet, laugh when one of us cuts or stabs ourselves, argue about who gets the left overs, and since having kids, they have renewed the Christmas Eve joy, and the Christmas Morning excitement. 

I am not religious, like at all, so it's not that for me, but for those that are, it's a chance to give thanks and celebrate the life of someone they respect and love. For those that aren't particularly religious through the year, they take the opportunity to attend Christmas Mass, have their annual check in maybe? 

Anyway, so many people say it's too commercialised, there is too much focus on the presents, that they spend too much, it's annoying to try and fit in visits to or from all the family, blah blah blah.

Yes stores and organisations take full advantage of the silly season, but when don't they? 
The focus by others may be on presents, but I control what is seen, heard and done in my house, and I choose NOT to focus on the presents. 
Spend too much? Well don't. I may love giving gifts, but a great gift doesn't come with a huge price tag. Set a budget, you're the one that buys, so just don't spend the stupid damn amounts of money. 
Be thankful you have family to visit! Take advantage of Christmas Eve, and Boxing day, spread it out, make it fun, or better yet, make them all come to you and tell them to bring wine. 

Just like anything in this world, Christmas is what you make it. You focus on presents and the money, that's what it will be about, but I choose to focus on the pure joy, the wonder, and the fun (and the food). 

Fuck yes my Christmas stuff is out already!

Step-ford Wife, Magazine Mum, and Keeping up with the Joneses

The other week I had a bit of a mini breakdown in a mums group on facebook. I was stressed and disappointed in myself, I was comparing myself to other people and families, and I just wasn't feeling together. I felt like I was failing at this life thing, and I was placing expectations on myself that, in reality, were fucking shit.

Over the weekend, I had an epiphany ..... 

I am not perfect and I don't WANT to be perfect.  

My house will never be a show home, but it is a home. It is a place where my girls are always safe, always loved, where play is encouraged and we learn about each other every day. I like my home, yes it could be neater, and yes I definitely could be better at maintaining the yard, but I like it. 
There is texta drawings on my dining table (yes, the actual table, who needs paper hey Miss G?) and my desk (*sigh*); finger smudges on the tv, glass doors, windows, pretty much every surface; there are clean clothes still unfolded in the baskets; and don't worry, the toilet paper all over the floor isn't used, Miss O just like to carry rolls around and spread it like confetti. 

Lisa over at Two Point Five Kids gets it. She wrote this blog today, and I'm guessing that part (a small part) of her inspiration was my vent in the mums group, and the loooong list of women that were feeling exactly the same way as me. 
If you follow me on my Facebook page or Instagram (@amindunstable) you would have seen the photos I share, and know that I post it as it is. 

I am still struggling with the daily juggle of house work, single mum, work from home business, being a friend, getting to exercise, eating healthy ... but, I've lowered my expectation of myself. 

Yes, LOWERED, *gasp*. 

So this morning I started my week with these new expectations in mind, and guess what? I got shit done, probably more than usual, because I didn't expect myself to do it all. 

I've viewed 2 rental units for Mr Ex; socialised a bit (face to face with a real person!); nearly completed an order; sorted a basket of washing (and it is all still sitting on my bed); tidied the playroom and lounge as well as the cube bookshelf unit that collects endless piles of junk; put on a load of washing (and then fished out the new Peppa Pig pj's and put them in the dryer, Miss G is going to LOVE me!); had dinner cooked by 4.30pm; and now I'm writing this blog and eating the last of the cinnamon and apple yogurt (sorry kids). 

Yeah, today wasn't a failure, and neither am I. 

Kitchen bench on a normal day here

This is tidy! 

One of two things will happen tonight - sorted piles will go back in the basket to be sorted again later, OR I'll actually put them away where they belong.

Yes, this is tidy, very tidy.

Social Media Bans?

Lately I've seen a few blogs, posts and news articles about people giving up Facebook, and other forms of social media, be it permanent, or just a break.

The reasons are many, a few I have seen are:

1. I'm spending too much time on facebook and not enough with my kids 
2. I can't even go to the toilet without taking my phone with me 
3. I can't remember the last time I spoke to a friend/family member on the phone, it's always on facebook chat
4. I get more excited about a retweet than I do my kid singing me the ABC song
5. I have no "real life" social life, it's all on facebook
6. I waste so many hours doing nothing on facebook, instagram, twitter etc.

Now, I completely understand the reasons behind it, and am guilty of quite a few of them myself. 
I will check facebook, then recheck it 5 minutes later. I will take photos of my meal, be it at home or when I'm out, and I'll post it right then and there on instagram, #foodporn is one of my favourite hashtags. Yeah, I have a bad habit of checking when I'm woken by a kid at 4am, why I don't know, it's fucking 4am, but I do it anyway. Miss O has started swatting the phone screen when she is on my lap, she can't say it, but I'm pretty sure she's thinking "put the fucking thing down and cuddle me, I'm only this little once" ... ok it's more likely that that's my guilty conscious less than her thinking, but you get the idea. 

I completely respect those that are 1. Considerate enough of their family to sacrifice a huge part of their lives, and 2. dedicated enough to actually go through with it. 
However, my question is this -

How will we learn how to take things in moderation, and in turn, teach our children to do the same? 

Once you get over those first few stages of withdrawal, it becomes easier and easier to go without. A social media addiction can be just as strong and hard to break as any other addiction. Learning to balance your social media life, and your real life, now THAT is really hard. 
Making the choice NOT to take your phone to the loo, or NOT checking your feed at 4am, placing self imposed bans during certain hours of the day, and making one on one time with your kids a real thing, not something you do with your phone in one hand while you post photos and status's about it. Post it after the fact, during your facebook time, not when you should be making memories with your family. 

The key is to learn when and where is the appropriate time, and to prioritise, your kids and your family should come before a status. 

So, my pledge, is to cut back on my facebook use, as I said, I am guilty of some of the reasons listed above, hell, I go take a shit and feel odd because I don't have my phone in my hand. WTF is with that? (just to clear something up, I put it down before I wipe and don't pick it up until I've washed my hands, so no, I'm not facebooking with E. Coli). 
I'm still going to drink my morning coffee/s and facebook while the girls eat breakfast, because that's my morning time; and I'm still going to have it open in the background while I work, or blog like now, but I'm going to stop jumping on it like a fat kid on cake when I see it flash with a message or notification. 
It will still be a part of my life, I'd be fucking insane to think it's not, but there is no need for it to BE my life, and that's my personal pledge!