My name is Bree, and I am a No-Poo'er.

My hair is horrible. 

Fucking hot hey? RaWr! :/

I have psoriasis so bad that there are times I've scratched so much I dig holes and have blood running down my face. My scalp itches, it hurts, flakes and always has scabs (from said scratching). My roots are oily, the middle of the strands are dry and frizzy (think white woman afro), and the ends always look homeless person ratty. It's also curly, except for those bits on the side of my head that insist on being almost dead straight.

I wear a lot of black, imagine how great that looks on a bad hair day! I'm pretty sure my hair hated me too. When I washed, I'd end up pulling out handfuls of hair that had decided it hated me that fucking much it had to escape (only to clog the drain and freak out the kids). When I brushed, it was the same, a blanket of hair covering the brush, I'm surprised I've even got any damn hair left. 

I have spent so much money on hair shit over the years.
Shampoos, conditioners, treatments, oils, masks and scrubs.
I used to have it straightened often, made it much more manageable, but the flaky itchy scalp never fucking stopped.
It got to the point where I didn't care what I washed it with, I just grabbed whatever was close. Avon "argan oil" fancy shit (turns out I was paying for a bottle full of chemicals with a fucking sprinkle of the goodness of Argan oil); Head & Shoulders - I'll admit, the mint one does feel so nice on the scalp, but still I was left with flakes!; I usually ended up using the cheap-ass crap that smells like bubble gum, I figured it was a pointless game anyway.

Now, I don't wash at all.
I do, technically, but it's "no-poo". I didn't even know this shit existed until a friend posted something on Facebook. I figured I could try it, why not? (scroll down to the bottom of this blog for some definitions)

I'm currently using honey and aloe as a shampoo (still working on the mix, but I use more aloe than honey). The hard part was finding an aloe gel that was actually true aloe, no alcohol, no additives, no dye (FYI - aloe is CLEAR, it is NOT green!). Finally found 2 that qualify enough for me.
You use it on the ROOTS ONLY! (this is important, I know from personal experience). I use a cheap sauce bottle with a pointy nozzle to get it on the scalp. Massage the scalp well. Leave it sit while you wash, shave, do your best rendition of "Do You Wanna Build a Snowman", then rinse thoroughly. You may find you need to start rinsing with the water quite hot, the honey is stinky. Your ends are cleaned by the run off. Trust me! 

The first Aloe I used

The one I'm using now - better value for $$

My conditioner is Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) with water. There are so many opinions on the mix here, I use 50/50, it works well for me. I use a spray bottle, makes application much easier. Squeeze out as much water from your hair as you can, then start spraying, start at the roots. If you have longer hair, spray it all then clump it all on the top of your head and put on a shower cap, you want to leave it on the hair for a couple minutes and this stops it falling everywhere and the ACV mix running off. Rinse well.

Word of advice - ACV tastes like ass, and stings like a mother fucker, especially in your eyes and if you happen to snort it. It also stinks, a lot.
Plus side - while you're in there, spray your shower glass, then right before you get out, give it a wipe down with a damp cloth then rinse it off - voila clean glass. 

      

Left: sauce bottle honey/aloe mix;
Right: the ACV mix

Some like to follow with a herbal or tea rinse, I did the first 2 washes (chamomile tea), but my 3rd I couldn't be bothered. My hair didn't smell like vinegar when I didn't.
Different teas and herbs can do different things to your hair and scalp, it really is all a matter of trial and error, eventually you'll find something that works for you. This is a great go-to list.

Best I don't get these 2 confused! 

After wash #1 - NO ITCH ... NO FLAKES .... NO patches of dryness or scaly chunks!!!! I shit you not, ONE WASH of the honey and aloe!!! I was fucking shocked, it wasn't until day 6 that I got little patches on the hairline! My curls were AWOL though, still are when I brush it :( 

The fun part comes when your hair and scalp enter the "transition" phase. Your scalp goes nutsack crazy, produces sebum in epic quantities, and your hair turns into what can only be described as a fucking mess. Personally mine felt heavy, dry, waxy and looked so bad. 

Gorgeous hey? 

I invested in a Boar Bristle Brush (BBB), made from natural fibers, they take the sebum from the roots (where it's secreted) and spreads it down the shaft of the hair, yay for natures moisturiser! It also helps remove the excess. 4 days of brushing with said BBB and my hair looked like this ... 

BBB use, 4 days after wash #2

I've done #3 wash, but that's another blog post ;) 


~ I can bet that a couple of you giggled at "secreted" and "shaft" ... and that is why we are friends. 

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Some definitions for you - 

What's no-poo? 
Ingredients in their natural state. They haven't been messed with, or added to. Baking soda, natural honey, aloe, lemon juice, clay, coconut milk and juice. Things like oats, flour and tea blends also count. 

What's low-poo then?
These are commercial products you can buy at health food shops, some supermarkets, chemists and boutique stores, that are considered "clean" because they contain no sulphates, parabens, polymers (cones), and have non-sulphate detergents. Anything ending in -cone, -xane, -zane, or -conol is what you want to stay clear of. 

What is Sebum?
Not to be confused with semen. 
Sebum is the natural oil in your hair, this is good stuff. Most commercial shampoos strip your hair of sebum. 

What are silicone's?
Basically it's synthetic sebum. There are water soluble silicone's which, as the name says, wash out with water, and non-soluble which are the opposite, and will build up on the hair over time, blocking absorption of moisture, causing hair to become dry and brittle. They require detergents aka sulfates, to remove.
I found this blog here explains silicone's really well and this blog has a simple list of the good, bad and ugly silicone's. 

What are sulfates?
Detergent. Think engine degreaser, toilet cleaner, upholstery cleaner, and the majority of shampoos. Sulfate is fantastic at dissolving oils from your scalp and hair, and your car engine. Do you love how your shampoo lathers? You can thank sulfate for that. Dry scalp = irritated scalp = worsened dandruff, psoriasis and eczema. Lovely!!! 

Sometimes I wish .....

There are some days where I feel like I'm just not made out for this parenting gig. I'm constantly treading water and hoping today isn't the day my legs stop and I go under. Some days I'm like hell yeah, I've got this shit, I am the parenting master, then I get a cramp and I'm reminded that the only thing keeping us all from drowning, is my fat stumpy legs.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. 

I've recently started studying to get my Diploma, I still have my hobby business, I've got 2 kids, a dog, and a house that breeds mess. Eating and exercise is still a daily battle, I either eat too little, or too much, and exercise is definitely too little. 

I'm going to say it, there are time when I honestly wish I didn't have children.
Yes they are a blessing; yes I know there are people that badly want children but can't; I realise that I'm very lucky to have 2 healthy daughters; and yes, I know there are others that have it worse, but I also know that I am only human, and I can only take so much.

I wish I could say fuck it, I'm going to bed at midday; or eat nothing but cereal, baked beans on toast and bananas for a week and not be depriving anyone but myself of well balanced meals. I wish I could stay up till 3 am watching Orange Is The New Black and then not have to snort a line of coffee granules 4 hours later in order to function. I'd like to be able to take a shit without commentary or little hands wanting to help me wipe my ass. The ease of popping down to the shops, alone, when I'm out of milk (or want chocolate), especially when it's raining. Having passionate, loud, anywhere-in-the-house sex without fear of waking anyone, or having cold little hands suddenly touch your leg as you realise you're being watched. 

I know for a fact that I am not the only parent to think this. We all do. We all wish for what we can't, or don't have. 

I adore my 2 energy sucking tiny humans, and yeah, being a Mum has it's perks, but sometimes, I want to put them in a cupboard for a few days without it being illegal. But for now, I'm being called ..."I need help to wipe my bum, this one's messy .... ew Olivia get out .... MUUUUUUUUUUM" .......