Over the last 5 weeks or so, I’ve felt myself sink further and further into a state of darkness. I’ve withdrawn from everything, and everyone, even those I love dearly and miss terribly.
I know many of them are taking it personally, they think they’ve done something wrong, but they haven’t at all, it’s me.
I am annoying.
I am tired.
I am grumpy.
I am short tempered.
I am unmotivated.
I am drained.
I am a burden.
I don’t feel like I bring anything to
the picture.
My kids went to my parents for over a
week in these school holidays. They thrived. They didn’t miss me. They went to
bed and slept all night without issue. They cooperated.
I am so easily replaceable.
I don’t particularly have reason to
feel like this. There has been no trigger. I am in a better place now than I have
been in many years. Yet, here I am, feeling like this.
This is mental illness. It is
consuming, irrational and toxic.
