ok ok ok sorry!

Fucking hell people, hound me much? Never thought people actually read this regularly, or liked it, turned out you deluded fuckers do!!! 

So, here's a blog post. I'm sitting here with my new hot pink stereo headphones, a bottle of wine (who needs a glass?) and blasting tunes while I write this shit. The kids have their feral pants on, part due to routine not being followed and part delayed full moon syndrome  (they are my kids, I expect them to be a little late on things, I'll be late to my own fucking funeral and probably forget underwear. Actually do they even bury people in underwear? Eh, I'm being cremated anyway, burn me bitches, burn me like I will burn in hell).

Anyway, not much going on here. 
Brother in Law had a heart attack and was put in a coma, had a defibrillator put in his chest right next to his pace maker. The kid free weekend with wine was cancelled due to this happening though, it's ok, I might be a bitch but I do put family first. Besides, it means I have that IOU up my sleeve ;)
Miss G thought it would be fun to dive out of a shopping trolley and land head first (technically on her fucking temple) and get a concussion resulting in a trip in the ambulance to the Emergency Room. 2 days later (as in today) she fell ass over tit in the bathroom and smashed her head on the tiles .... yeah the exact same fucking place. We don't do things by halves, it's all or nothing! 
I lost 2kgs, but I thank gastro for that, no dieting and hard work for me, gastrointestinal infections are my way. 

(Miss G is currently standing beside me demanding some of my wine ... "I want a sip of your special juice" ...... yeah no kid, not going to happen ... *uses threat of no Easter Bunny if she doesn't leave me and my wine alone* .....) 

Um, shit I don't even remember what crap I've been doing .... I can't even remember my last damn blog post. Can I still claim baby brain when she's 8 months now? Yeah fuck it I can, my memory is like diarrhoea, there's no holding it in. 


Oh and Miss G is fine, looks like I've smashed her over the head with something, but fine.