Domestic fucking goddess.

It's hot and humid, (32c and 71% before 10am) I fucking hate humidity. It's like walking around in a tub of your own sweat and bodily fluids. When you're fat like me, you have rolls, the sweat just sits there and when you move you can feel the sliminess, de-fucking-licious No matter how much you smoother yourself in deodorant you still stink like fucking hobo and don't even get me started on the hair issues!
Next house I live in will have aircon, even if I have to pay for it with sexual favours, at least I'll be on my knees in a delightful 21 degrees. Booyah!

Anyway, despite the above I've done some laundry, dishes, cleaned the kitchen, updated the budget, found brown broccoli in the fridge along with a limp carrot and what I think used to be fresh parsley, put a chicken casserole in the slow cooker, resisted the urge to not strangle Miss G as she suffers cabin fever (in true ranga style she burns to a crisp within minutes of being in sunlight) and dealing with Miss O's shitty "I fucking hate humidity too" behaviour (I'm presuming both my kids will swear like a sailor, why fight the inevitable?). All before midday! Be jealous bitches.

I'm also exhausted. Neighbourhood feral family 1 had a late night screaming match with feral family 2 last night. I may swear but my potty mouth has got nothing on this lot. Threats, name calling, kids crying and screaming, banging, loud thumps, fuck knows what else. It was just pure coincidence that the police turned up ;) and by listening to the police scanner that um someone happened to have playing through my bedroom window right at that moment, I learned some interesting facts about the ferals. No wonder it only took 16 mins to respond on a Saturday night.

I suspect the neighbourhood children had something to do with our now very sad wheelie bin too. It disappeared after the last bin day. What fucking idiot would steal a damn garbage bin? Anyway, it reappeared, or at least some bin did, not our original one as ours had a number written on it this one doesn't, and it looks like someone has run over it with a truck, I'm surprised it still stands. Thanks little fuckers.

And I'm out of bread, and alcohol. Fuck it.