A Piece Of An Unstable Mind: My 2 cents. RIP Charlotte Dawson.

We all know I'm active on Instagram, and I have followed Charlotte Dawson from the day I joined. She has had her fair share of controversy over the years, she has had her opinions, and success. I didn't know her personally, only played witness to her life through social media like so many others. I saw the comments she received regarding her very public battle with mental illness. It made me sick to see people preying on her depression, telling her to end her life, telling her she is pathetic and useless. I don't understand how anyone believes they have the right to speak like that to another person! There is no excuse, there is no justification, it is abuse, and it is wrong.

I have blogged about my personal struggle with depression in the past (in random posts, or to support a cause like R U OK? day). I have been open and honest about it. I don't make it a secret, I let it be known to those that matter, because, while it isn't WHO I am, it most definitely is a part of WHAT I am.

I have suffered for years, I don't remember a time it wasn't part of my life. I have been praised for my strength and I have been picked up when I was down. I have had an amazing support network there for me when I need them, and yet I still fight the demons daily.

I have also been bullied. Horribly. My weight, my hair, my name, and yes, my depression. I have had people prey on it, out of everything I am, everything I have said and done, they see my depression and focus in on it like a lion on a lame hog. I have been abused, ridiculed, lied to, laughed at, and treated like less of a person, simply because my brain is wired differently.

It hurts, even when you do your best to ignore it, brush it off, tell yourself "they don't know me", and you stand tall, there is always a part of you sobbing, and repeating their words and actions, over and over. You can put on a mask around others, even with yourself for a little while, but the voice never goes away completely.

We are all guilty of saying mean things about others, I don't need to give examples, as you read this, I bet you can think of at least three right now. But there is a line, there is always a line where the mean comments, the quips and jokes, become abuse. The words you say go from little scratches that heal and are quickly forgotten, and become wounds that eat through a person. They are the words that have them crying themselves to sleep, or keeping them awake wishing that when they do finally fall asleep, they never wake up.

Shame on you that prey and spit the words of hate, I pity you.

RIP Charlotte Dawson. I am sorry that the world was so cruel to you, and I hope that the next life, heaven, or wonderland, whatever your beliefs, are kind and spectacular.