Drink it or snort it?

I bet you're all wondering how the rest of my night went right? 

Fucking. Horrible. 

I'm starting my day with this ...... 

(I'm also too brain dead to work out why the fuck that's sideways and how to fix it. Look at you tilting your head, idiot)











I'd just got Miss O asleep when I hear a thump and scream .... Miss G had fallen out of bed. She comes in to my room, climbs on me (driving her knee into my bladder) and I end up with one on one arm and one on the other. Of course Miss O now starts whinging for a bottle, and I need to move Miss G to get out of bed. By the time I'd changed Miss O's butt, taken a piss (thanks to that knee), Miss G is awake and asking me for food. Kid, it's 2.45am, glass of milk is all you're getting. By now the hot water is back (1 shower = out of hot water, I told you small), I figure fuck it, they're happily chattering to each other, I'll get these dishes done and bottles washed and they can burn some more energy.
3.40am Miss O is full, asleep and in bed. Miss G is begging me to sing "doggy doggy where's your bone" .... 
4am Miss G has passed out. I need to pee .... 
*fell asleep some time in here* 
5.26am Miss O is awake, I smell her nappy from the doorway. Butt change, rest of the earlier bottle, back to sleep.
*I think I passed out with my feet still on the floor* 
8am Miss O singing ..... FUCKING HELL!!!! 

I gave her a bottle, shoved her in her bouncer, put on ABC4kids and slept on the lounge for the next hour till she screamed at me for attention. Thank you Giggle and Hoot .... Jimmy Giggle you are not only fuckable, but you look after the kid while I sleep, that earns you special favours ;) 

So, as I said, I've skipped the coffee for half a fucking litre of energy drink.