Dexter Finale

I am only going to warn once, this contains spoilers. 

If you have not watched the finale episode of Dexter, do not read any further.

Do not whinge to me that I ruined it for you, it's not my fault you're too fucking dumb to listen. 

Are you fucking kidding me? SERIOUSLY??? 

This show has been graphic, disgustingly awesome, thrilling and twisted, for 8 seasons, 8. fucking. seasons, and it ends with ice cream and a fucking lumber truck?
I won't even comment on the beard either .... just, no. 

My alternate ending - 

Deb still dies. Dexter does not remove her life support and monitors, (which are magically still about to monitor her dying stats ...), carry her from the hospital unnoticed, wrap her in a sheet, whisper sweet nothings in her ear and symbolically throw her over the side of his boat. 

She gets a full honour funeral, Batista wears another hideous fucking shirt, and Quinn cries like a baby (snot and all, he does seem the type).

After Batista and Quinn view the Dexter and Saxon prison video (I love how that sounds like a porno), Quinn's spidey sense is tingly and he suspects Dexter is lying. He corners Dexter in private and asks Dexter to confirm his story, to which Dexter replies "that's what it looks like" with his sexy sly smile. Quinn knows, but Saxon killed his lady love, he pats Dexter on the back and walks away (and in turn, redeeming himself in the eyes of viewers like me that always wondered if the guy really did have balls). Probably a meaningful monologue from Dexter in there too.

After the storm, and the funeral, blah blah, Dexter leaves Miami and finally meets Hannah and Harrison on a beach in Argentina. The sun is shining, there's a dog playing at the waters edge, birds are singing, in the distance there is a family having a picnic. They meet, embrace, kiss, and gush about missing each other and how they can't believe it all worked out. 

Hannah smiles, and pulls out a knife and slashes Harrison's neck. 

Blood spurts across the soft white sand, Hannah snarls some witty one liner about revenge, and Dexter, motionless with shock, is too slow to react as Hannah thrusts the blade into his heart. 

Dexter pulls the knife from his chest, fatally stabs Hannah and they fall together to the ground. 

Dexter's wound bubbles with each dying breath, their blood flows together creating lines through the sand. 

In the background, the dog starts trotting over as Dexter moves his gaze to Harrison's peaceful innocent face, and dies as the dog licks the blood still slowly trickling from Hannah's lifeless body (because she's a dog, get it? like for like?).

The End. 

*images from google