I'm on facebook and have a kid that won't shut up

Decided to make a facebook page linked to this blog. I have a habit of thinking of things, taking photos etc, but it never makes the blog, part laziness, part it not being worthy of an entire blog post, or by the time I'm able to blog it, I've fucking forgotten.
Hence, facebook page, you can find the page here. I can update it, photos, shit like that and you fuckers can have a piece of me every day.
I'll still blog, might even blog more. 

One thing I'll blog about is my pain in the ass child!
I love her, I promise, but fuck me dead, does she ever shut up? She's 4 now, going on 34, and talks. so. much.
It wouldn't be so bad if she actually listened!
Asks a question, you give the answer, she asks the same question, you give the answer, she asks again, you tell her you're not answering anymore, she asks again, you grit your teeth, she rephrases and asks again, you take a deep breath and walk away, she follows while asking again, you wish you swallowed. 

The other one is now walking, she's still at that wobble stage. You know the one, it's as adorable as fuck, especially when you can see their chubby thighs wobbling and you resist the urge to bite them. She also climbs, I am currently typing this and watching her climb up and down on the coffee table, while eating a tissue. Girls got skills. 

Dexter Finale

I am only going to warn once, this contains spoilers. 

If you have not watched the finale episode of Dexter, do not read any further.

Do not whinge to me that I ruined it for you, it's not my fault you're too fucking dumb to listen. 

Are you fucking kidding me? SERIOUSLY??? 

This show has been graphic, disgustingly awesome, thrilling and twisted, for 8 seasons, 8. fucking. seasons, and it ends with ice cream and a fucking lumber truck?
I won't even comment on the beard either .... just, no. 

My alternate ending - 

Deb still dies. Dexter does not remove her life support and monitors, (which are magically still about to monitor her dying stats ...), carry her from the hospital unnoticed, wrap her in a sheet, whisper sweet nothings in her ear and symbolically throw her over the side of his boat. 

She gets a full honour funeral, Batista wears another hideous fucking shirt, and Quinn cries like a baby (snot and all, he does seem the type).

After Batista and Quinn view the Dexter and Saxon prison video (I love how that sounds like a porno), Quinn's spidey sense is tingly and he suspects Dexter is lying. He corners Dexter in private and asks Dexter to confirm his story, to which Dexter replies "that's what it looks like" with his sexy sly smile. Quinn knows, but Saxon killed his lady love, he pats Dexter on the back and walks away (and in turn, redeeming himself in the eyes of viewers like me that always wondered if the guy really did have balls). Probably a meaningful monologue from Dexter in there too.

After the storm, and the funeral, blah blah, Dexter leaves Miami and finally meets Hannah and Harrison on a beach in Argentina. The sun is shining, there's a dog playing at the waters edge, birds are singing, in the distance there is a family having a picnic. They meet, embrace, kiss, and gush about missing each other and how they can't believe it all worked out. 

Hannah smiles, and pulls out a knife and slashes Harrison's neck. 

Blood spurts across the soft white sand, Hannah snarls some witty one liner about revenge, and Dexter, motionless with shock, is too slow to react as Hannah thrusts the blade into his heart. 

Dexter pulls the knife from his chest, fatally stabs Hannah and they fall together to the ground. 

Dexter's wound bubbles with each dying breath, their blood flows together creating lines through the sand. 

In the background, the dog starts trotting over as Dexter moves his gaze to Harrison's peaceful innocent face, and dies as the dog licks the blood still slowly trickling from Hannah's lifeless body (because she's a dog, get it? like for like?).

The End. 

*images from google

Tired shopping

Have you ever been so tired that you feel hot but you're shivering, you take a full 30 seconds to blink, you shake all over, your head lulls from one side to the other, your eyes sting and it feels like your eyelids are sand paper each time you move them, you find the simplest things hilarious and you start thinking of something then your train of thought disappears. 

That's me now.

I'm going to ramble anyway. 

Are you a groceries bargain shopper? I'm a bargain shopper. Sure, I go to woolies for a few things that I can't get or don't like from elsewhere, but otherwise, grocery shopping involves several places.

A trip to Banana Benders for fruit, veggies, and whatever grocery items they have got in in bulk and are selling cheap (like kraft cheese sticks, 3 packs for $2; $1.79 for a box of cereal who's name escapes me; 99c for fancy garlic bread). 
Then Meat City for meat, today I got 2+kg trays of skinless chicken breast for $11, 2kg of marinated chicken legs for $2, and 1kg of top beef mince for $6), then Aldi for the majority of the rest. 
I'm also not above going to the "$2 shops" for toothpaste, shampoo, razors, garbage bags etc.

I spent a whopping $177 on groceries this fortnight .... (includes formula and nappies). A lot of people read that and think I did well, no ... that's $50 more than average. I let things run a bit low.

Anyway, my original point .... When I go into Woolies or Coles for the said few items, I walk by the people with trolley loads of groceries and think, you idiots. The amount of money you could save! Granted, not everyone has the time to go to 3 or 4 different places, others don't care. I think of all the money I have saved, and in some cases, how much better my family is eating because I buy better, fresher quality and a wider variety, and I can't help but get a smug, happy feeling in my chest.
For a fleeting moment I feel superior.
I get my kicks where I can.
 

R U OK?

I have depression. It is debilitating and controlling, it robs you of the ability to enjoy simple pleasures, and makes your thoughts go to places they never should. It is the darkest of nights, and the wildest of storms, and you feel like you are battling alone.

Until someone asks you, R U OK?

It doesn't make the feelings go away, it doesn't make the sun shine brighter or the birds start singing the theme to The Sound of Music. But it does give you the chance to say just a little bit of the things you wish you had the strength to say. You could respond with just one word, or nothing but tears, and it could be the first step in a much needed journey.

On the flip side of the coin .... R U OK? day is a fantastic idea, it is, I will never say otherwise. I do however, have a tip to those that do decide to ask R U OK? ...... And that is to be prepared for what that question may result in. Be prepared for tears, or yelling, be prepared for "sob stories" and being someone's shoulder, even just for 5 minutes. Don't ask it only because you think you're meant to, do it because you actually care.

Head lice, nits ... assholes

Call them what you like, they are assholes. 

Miss G is 4 years old in 3 weeks, we have managed to escape lice all this time. Yesterday I found eggs in her hair, then 2 lice. Argh!!! 
Through the mums group, I found out that the eggs I found had already hatched as they were brown. BRILLIANT! Strip all the beds, all stuffed toys and dolls sitting outside, lounge sprayed and vacuumed, trip to the chemist to open my wallet and give my PIN, treatment costs a fortune! 
Of course I just changed all the sheets and towels on Wednesday, haven't even finished washing that fucking lot and BAM the pile as multiplied. AWESOME!

Miss G has hair that goes past her butt, imagine the fun I've had today! Thank fuck she was well behaved and tolerant. As she left the bathroom, I thanked her for being so good, her response "thank you for doing my hair!", you're welcome kid, don't make it happen again. 

I never thought I'd say I'm glad I have dandruff and psoriasis, seems it's a natural barrier to the tiny blood sucking bastards. Treated myself anyway, paranoia wins every time! 

I'm hoping this is not going to repeat itself again for a while. I have the tea tree oil spray ready to go, beware assholes, I am armed. 

oh yeah, Happy Fathers Day Mr Ex, and Mr J my awesome stepdad, and Mr P my father. 
And, happy "I'm doing it all because I'm the fucking bomb" to all the single mums out there, and single dads. Keep kicking parenting ass, and remember just how amazing you are.